DILBERT QUOTES - SITATER

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- The Pointy Haired Boss sees some actual code "We have to improve our image in the internet community."
"Lets do a mass unsolicited email campaign to tell everyone how nice we are."
<later> "You have the look of a man who was just put in charge of implementing his own sarcastic suggestion." - The Pointy Haired Boss, Dilbert & Dogbert "Wally, I'm rating you 'good' but not because you are. Company policy says I have to fire
anyone rated lower than good, and the hiring freeze means it would shrink my empire. So you can get paid for doing nothing as long as you don't kill anyone."
"I can't promise that."
        - The Boss and Wally

"When you grow up you'll be put in a container called a cubicle. The bleak oppressiveness will warp your spine and destroy your capacity to feel joy. Luckily you'll have a boss like me to motivate you with something called fear."
"May I see a brochure?"
        - The Pointy Haired Boss does a career day

"Dangerous Asbestos has been found in every room in our building. The problem will be addressed using a ... scientific process. Something called attrition."

"Alice, I've noticed a disturbing pattern. Your solutions to problems are always the things you try *last*."

"This might be that sarcasm thing I keep hearing about..."

"Our facilities management says the new statue by the front entrance isn't a statue. It's an unlucky guy named Karl who had been warned many times not to feed the birds." then it talks about statistical clustering... blah, blah, blah... and serving as an example."

"I thought I hired a genius. But he turned out to be an ordinary guy faking a British accent."

- The Poiny Haired Boss WORKING

"What we need is a meteor to pulverize you three pointy-haired, micro managing nitwits!"
[later]
"If you didn't move your mouth, how did it get out?"
"It came out of my earhole."
        - Dilbert & Wally

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