DILBERT QUOTES - SITATER

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"Please don't."
"Let's see which one catches on quicker."
        - Wally and Alice

THE BOSS

"I had to make some optimistic assumptions to meet the revenue target. In Week 3, we are visited by an alien named D'Utox Inag, who offers to share his advanced technology."
"Then, do we use this advanced technology to design our new product?"
"No, we kill him and sell the autopsy video."

- Dilbert briefs the Pointy-Haired Boss on his next plan "At first I thought you commited me to an impossible deadline. But I have a theoretical solution. It involves flying around the earth so fast that I travel back to the past."
"And" then you'll have enough time?"
"No," then I'll give your parents this pamphlet on contraception." - Dilbert & The Pointy-Haired Boss again "The technology to clone you exists, but it's illegal to clone humans."
"If the cops find out, we can frame my clone for the crime."
"That is so wrong."
"Why? He'd do the same thing to me."

        - Dilbert & The Pointy-Haired Boss

"Try being unethical with our vendors. If it makes you feel any better wait until they lie first."

        - The Boss advises Dilbert

"The job market is getting worse every day. Employees will be afraid. Our power to abuse them grows stronger by the minute."

        - The Pointy-Haired Boss to Catbert

"I saw the code for your computer program yesterday. It looked easy. Its just a bunch of typing. And half of the words were spelt wrong. And dont get me started on your over-use of colons."

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