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"If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish he will buy an ugly hat. And if you talk about fish to a starving man" then you are a consultant."


"My motto is 'they can't break you if you don't have a spine'."
        - Wally

"Then they rip out your ego and they put you in a box until you rot. You'll never know if you're dead or simply envying the dead!"
        - Wally, at "Careers Day"

"When I was your age Asok, I too sought the thrill of victory and the pleasures of the flesh. But after twenty years of not getting either one, I made convenience my new mistress."
        - Wally, passing on his wisdom to the conveniently located Asok

"Where did you get that definition of Zen?"
"I used to read, but it's faster to make up stuff."
        - Dilbert and Wally

"I've decided to become indispensible to the company. Indispensible employees can get away with outrageously annoying behaviour."
        - Wally

"Your contributions to United Charity are below average for your pay level."
"Actually, I fund an agency that keeps people like you away from society"

- Wally & Dilbert "I didnt use my brain this week. I listened to things I already knew. I waited for people who were late. I was a passenger in my car pool." - Wally "Do you have a price sheet for removing unnecessary body parts? I wouldn't mind a few days away from work, being waited on, watching TV and napping."
        - Wally goes to the surgery

"We're looking for a special kind of employee, Wally. Specifically, we like people with low self-esteem. That way we can bully them into working unpaid overtime. Do you think you're inscure enough to work here?"
"Let me put it this way. Sometimes I pretend to choke in the cafeteria." then when someone performs the Heimlich Maneuver I spin around suddenly...just to get a hug."

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