DILBERT QUOTES - SITATER

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I have a new personal crusade. I'm going to hunt down the people who have strong opinions on subjects they dont understand." then I'll bop them with this cardboard tube. - Dogbert's phase continues "You're not entitled to your opinion. I copyrighted all of the stupidest opinions in the universe so they can never again be uttered."

        - Dogbert

"My company lost a frooflepoopillion dollars. I'm embarrassed to tell people where I work."
"Never be afraid to tell the truth about yourself."
"Because honesty is the best policy?"
"Because no one pays any attention to what you say."

        - Dilbert and Dogbert

Dear Tim, your book does not meet our current publishing needs. You plot was lame and I hated your characters. By association I have come to hate you too. For safety reasons, I have hired an illiterate person to rip up your manuscript.

- Dogbert the Publisher "How's the book publishing business coming along?"
"Great! I get to reject a dozen authors a day. I call them untalented dolts and they *thank* me for it."
"Eventually, you have to publish something."
"Yeah, well, thats the conventional wisdom" - Dogbert & Dilbert "I'm writing a book that debunks the effectiveness of business consultants."
"But common sense would say that you're being a consultant yourself. So your opinion is logically flawed. Only people with no common sense will buy your book"
"I prefer to call them the mass market..." - Dogbert & Dilbert "My guest today on 'Money Chatter' is the head of the 'Dogbert Mutual Fund'. Its reported that your fund is the highest of the decade. Tell us how you made that happen."
"Okay. Apparently, this guy will read anything you hand him" - Dogbert is interviewed... "I've hired the Dobgert 'Touchy-Feely' Institute to teach us about teamwork"

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