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"I dont know how to use my email."
"You need to upgrade your IQ a few points. Try listening to classical music." - Dogbert's Tech Support Service "I have total access to every employee's email. With a few strategic edits, I will transform the office into Melrose Place." - Dogbert the Sysadmin I need a job where my immense ego seems normal. 63% of all statistics are made up... including this one. When virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed - Dogbert "All great ideas look like bad ideas to people who are losers. Its always good to test a new idea with known losers to make sure they dont like it."

        - Dogbert

"You must use the stars as your management guide."
"Does that work?"
"If you believe it works," then you are not bright enough to make your own decisions anyway. So randomness is probably an improvement."

- Dogbert the Astronomer-Consultant & The Pointy Haired Boss. "My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people."
"Then what does it do?"
"Why would it need to do anything else?" - Dogbert, in his "Out! Out! You Demons of Stupidity" phase

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