DILBERT QUOTES - SITATER
"Time for your sneezing
drill."
"Other people make
it look so natural."
- Dogbert and Dilbert (and early cartoon)
"You've been loving
your animals and fighting each other. A civilized country should slaughter
the animals and simply discriminate economically against each other."
- Dilbert, spreading the message of civilization to Elbonia
"I'm addicted to email.
My endorphins spike when I get a message. When there are no messages, loneliness
and despair overcome me."
"Have you tried sending
email to yourself?"
"We don't talk about
that."
- Dilbert and Dogbert
"My marketing plan
involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes.
The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence
of people. In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."
- Dilbert
The Boss: "We've just
been informed that our product's name means something bad in the elbonian
language. It means 'the intense pleasure derived from giving yourself a
wedgie."
What Everyone's Thinking:
"I gotta try that."
- The Greatest Prank Ever Perpetrated by Elbonia
DOGBERT
"Businesses used to be like Christianity; if you were faithful and obedient, you could obtain bliss in the afterlife of retirement. Now its more of a reincarnation model. If a worker learns enough in his current job, he can progess to a higher level of employment elsewhere."
Dilbert : "Why?"
Dogbert : "I'm attracted by the potential for reckless abuse of power"
"I have no time for boring administrative tasks, you fool! I'm too busy upgrading the network."
"You could have given me a new password in the time it took to belittle me."
"Yeah, but which option would give me job satisfaction?"