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"People are idiots. Including me. Everyone is an idiot, not just the people with the low SAT scores. The only difference is that we're idiots about different things at different times. No matter how smart you are, you spend much of your day being an idiot."
        - Scott Adams; The Dilbert Principle

"A fully-occupied cubicle is 70 percent air. Most of the unused airspace will be driven out of the design of future work areas. I see the workstation of the future looking like a high-tech hairdresser's chair. You'll have your computer built into the base of the chair and the keyboard swinging into your lap from the side."
        - Scott Adams in "The Dilbert Future"

"Scientists will eventualy stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that energy companies will place huge hamster wheels outside of convenience stores and offer free lottery tickets to people who spend five minutes running in them. The hamster wheels will be connected to power generators."
        - Scott Adams, "The Dilbert Future"

"If you think about it, human beings are the worst possible creatures to have access to powerful technology. It would be much better for everyone if, for example, fish were the ones with all the technology. They wouldn't be able to push the buttons with their little fins. No humans would get hurt, and the fish would be able to brag about their great stuff until eventually it all turned into protective barrier reefs."
        - Scott Adams, "The Dilbert Future"

As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2,400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line.
        - Scott Adams, on the ending of competing strip Calvin & Hobbes

No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them.
        - Entry in a 'Dilbert' Quotes Contest

"So, Mr. Moriarty, can you tell us why you decided to leave the company?"
"The new security surveillance system is cutting into the profits of my stationary supply business."
        - An Exit Interview (from a Dilbert List )

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