DILBERT QUOTES - SITATER
- Dogbert, "Getting Fired"
You can tell how important
an assignment is by how it is communicated to you. All assignments are
eventually delegated to the person who understands them the least.
- Dogbert's Theory of Assignments
All companies need
a strategy so the employees will know what they don't do.
- Dogbert, "The Importance of Strategies"
DEFINITIONS
Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and" then leaves.
Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
Stress Puppy - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
CLM (Career Limiting Move) - Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.
Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in - "We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in."
Ohno-second - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake.
Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing, or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dyan, my ... um ... friend."
Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.