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        - Dogbert, "Getting Fired"

You can tell how important an assignment is by how it is communicated to you. All assignments are eventually delegated to the person who understands them the least.
        - Dogbert's Theory of Assignments

All companies need a strategy so the employees will know what they don't do.
        - Dogbert, "The Importance of Strategies"


Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and" then leaves.

Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and peoples heads pop up over the walls to see whats going on.

Stress Puppy - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

CLM (Career Limiting Move) - Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in - "We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in."

Ohno-second - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that youve just made a BIG mistake.

Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing, or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dyan, my ... um ... friend."

Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group.

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