DILBERT QUOTES - SITATER
Never answer a question
unless you know exactly who is asking, why it is being asked, and what
will be done with the information.
- Dogbert, "The Answer depends on the Asker"
Inflated job titles
in middle management allow those at the bottom of the company hierarchy
to avoid truly demeaning titles. Corollary : What you do is not nearly
as impressive as what your job titles implies you do.
- Dogbert, "The Benefits of Title Inflation"
Even the most mundane
business activities can sound glorious if you describe them in angry and
violent terms. But remember to speak metaphorically, or it will sound sound
silly : eg 'I've been putting out fires all day', or 'It's a bomb waiting
to go off'.
- Dogbert, "How to make you boring job sound dangerous"
Mondays are not part
of the productive work week.
- Dogbert's Theory of Mondays
As you suspected, all
of your co-workers are fools. You must learn to pity and tolerate them.
- Dogbert, "Suffering Fools"
The world is full of
attractive people whom you will never meet. Your only hope for romance
is to lower your standards until co-workers look good.
- Dogbert, "Dating Co-Workers"
People who work in
accounting departmets often work 12 hour days creating reports that nobody
cares about. This gives them a very bad attitude. Do not attempt humor
around them.
- Dogbert, "Understanding Accounting People"