DILBERT QUOTES - SITATER
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
My reality check bounced.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
How about never? Is never good for you?
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
If at first you don't succeed, try again." then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
TV SHOW
Next up is a program
on evolution in which we implicitly mock opposing viewpoints.
- TV Narrator
Height : Varies depending
on my speed relative to the observer.
Weight : Sensation
caused by gravitational warping of space-time.
- Dogbert answers a NASA questionnaire
BUILD A BETTER LIFE BY STEALING OFFICE SUPPLIES
The amount of energy
spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchial
status of the joke.
- Dogbert's Laughter Guide
Your boss reached his/her
position by being politically astute. Don't turn your back.
Corollary : To be
a successful manager, you must learn to be insensitive to the needs of
your employees.
- Dogbert, "Office Politics"
Few things in less
efficient than a group of people trying to write a sentence. The advantage
of this method is that you end up with something for which you will not
be personally blamed.
- Dogbert, "The Bureaucracy"