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"As you gain experience, you'll realise that all logical questions are considered insubordination."
        - Dilbert advises Asok the Intern

"Lately the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labour."
        - Dilbert

"Frankly I'm insulted that you asked me out. It means you think we're about the same level of attractiveness."
        - Dilbert's date

"It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year."
        - Dilbert

"I use no animal products whatsoever."
"Your clothes were created on sewing machines that used electricity from coal and oil, and those come from dead dinosaurs."
        - Mike the Vegan and Dilbert

"Uh oh, it's a gray area social situation. Do I know this guy well enough to say hi, or just look away?"
"So I went with the ambiguous tight-lipped smile that could be confused with a stomach ache."
"Your stories suck".
        - Dilbert, recounting his day to Dogbert

"I've noticed that all my problems are caused by other people. Yet it seems so unlikely that other people would cause me so much discomfort while I never bother anyone. Is it possible that I'm oblivious to my effect on others."
        - Dilbert and Dogbert

"This was our third date, Liz. Tradition demands that you miss me or give me the 'lets be friends' talk."
"No, our first date only counted as 85% of a date because we were wearing our sweat pants."
        - Dilbert's third date with Liz

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