Dogbert : "Women like men who boast about their accomplishments, but they hate men who boast. I will be your designated bragger, allowing you (Dilbert) to appear Humble."
Dilbert : "One potential problem with this plan is that I have no accomplishments."
Dogbert : "Yeah, and if she isn't wearing make-up we'll be honest too."
        - Dogbert's advice on dating

Dogbert : "I've come to the conclusion that whats inside a person doesnt count because nobody can see it."
Dilbert : "I never knew you were such a philosopher."
Dobgert : "Thats my point!"
        - Dogbert's philsophy on life

"Why does it seem as though I am the only honest guy on earth?"
"Your type tends not to reproduce."
        - Dilbert & Dogbert

"When you're with a woman, everything you say will lower her opinion of you."
"But I can give her compliments right?"
"No! That's the worst thing. Women keep a log of all compliments. They analyse the pattern to identify negative trends."
"Should I use my real name?"
        - Dogbert advises Dilbert

"Should I date a co-worker?"
"You should date anything that has a pulse, bad judgment and no restraining orders against you."
"But she has to be hot."
"Settle for 'still warm'."
        - Dilbert and Dogbert

While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'
        - Dilbert

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20